I’m awful at being patient. I had a conversation recently with the lovely Allister Ann about this topic and it’s had me thinking. I think the reason I feel so restless right now is because I thrive on change. Or perhaps more accurately, progress. Certainly I’ve had moments where I became apprehensive about change. I think we all have a part of us that enjoys the comfort of repetition. But when it comes down to it, when I’m in a certain pattern too long, I get antsy for something new and exciting, as it’s been in every big transition in my life so far. Graduating high school and college, I never looked back and wished I was still there. Even while still in high school, I was ready to get on with real life. And I think that true art must come from that exact feeling of restlessness and desire for progression rather than regression.
Right now, my photography has been slow. It’s not just that it’s slow, it’s that a few months ago it seemed there were a lot of very exciting things developing for me. And just about all of them completely fell through. And here I am, still waiting for it all to happen, but nothing happened, and I’m just now snapping out of it, realizing that I’ve still got a lot of work to do before I break through with my photography in a town already teeming with incredibly good photographers. I’ve experienced Nashville like this for almost a year, but I’m ready for a new Nashville. I’m ready to meet more new people who inspire me. I’m ready to be more confident in myself and my photography enough to be able to walk up to a complete stranger, have a conversation with them, and take their portrait. I think that’s where my heart really lies with photography. I want to take photos of people. And not just pretty or interesting looking people. I want to give everyone a chance. We all have our unique stories and lives that are interesting in their own way. One of the most challenging things about portrait photography is to bring that out in the photo, the true masters capturing it from a simple shot of someone’s face.
This is the most exciting yet frighteningly daunting thing to think about. Where I think my heart is right now with photography is not to be the guy hidden away with a huge telephoto lens trying to capture some candid moment, but instead to be the photographer who HAS to interact with his subject. It’s about the connection between photographer and subject. And that idea is a piece of Truth, because I think it’s our connections with others that we really remember in the end. This realization is exciting because this is a moment of clarity for me artistically that spawned from a feeling of frustration and restlessness. Yet at the same time it’s terrifying to me because I’ve never been an extroverted guy who can easily connect with people. My art literally is a challenge to myself as a person.
So what it really comes down to… The thing that frightens me the most is also the thing that I desire the most.
Before I finish this, just some more inspiration to me. First an article. Then a photo. Then a video.
Jeff Ascough: If you’re pictures aren’t good enough, you are using a telephoto!! – Probably one of the things that really inspired me to start thinking about the things I just wrote.
Blonde Redhead – 23
